the flicker of an idea

(the feeling of writing a book)

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I am writing in a cafe again.

Outside, raindrops streak the steamed-up windows and the sky is leaden, but beneath the high ceiling, the room buzzes with chatter. Tulips in milk bottles brighten wooden tables and railway sleeper bookshelves are strung with fairy lights. Between sips of chai, I pick up my pen.

Ever since September — when my book Chasing Fog was published — I have lived and breathed fog but at the back of my mind, an idea began to flicker, wavering and hesitant: a birthday candle in a cloud. At first, this glimmer was no more than a thought but it grew brighter. I bought a notebook. I added a new saved folder on my phone. A stack of research books found their way onto my desk.

Meeting my agent for coffee, I did my best to describe the idea to her. It slipped, nebulous, between my fingers as I tried to grasp it, but the words I found were enough. ‘Yes’, she said. ‘I love it.’

I caught the train home and opened a new Scrivener document. I cupped my hands around the idea, protecting it from the wind as its glow became stronger. ‘Yes’, I whispered to the idea. ‘Yes.’

{This post is from my series ‘The Feeling of Writing a Book’. You’ll find the rest of the series here.}